I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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