I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize