is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
