the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
