I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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