You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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