i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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