I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
