So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
