That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
