just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
