It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize