am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do vagina's smell?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
