I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
