Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
