He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
