my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
