i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
