Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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