Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
