my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
