Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
