why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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