Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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