and she was petting her beer can
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
did i just pee glitter
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
