white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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