this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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