so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If I die, sorry about rent.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
