? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
