I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
