I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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