you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
