oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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