Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
