Is it because I queefed?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
