ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
