That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
