On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
