but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
this boner is exhausting
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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