I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
