I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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