My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
