im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
