i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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