I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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