My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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