Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
