All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
