my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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