I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
