i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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