Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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