I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
