You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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